How Is She Already Starting School?
For a few weeks now, we’ve been talking to Aurora about school. She starts in September… and I honestly have no idea where the last four and a half years have gone. My little lockdown baby—how is she already starting school? 2021 feels like a whole different lifetime.
She seems excited in her own sweet way. Every so often, she’ll say something like, “Mummy, I’ll need a lunchbox when I start school,” or “I think I’ll save this pen for school.” I smile, I nod, and I meet her excitement with my own. But the truth is—she’s more ready than I am.
Right here, before it all changed.
The age I wish I could freeze.
The kind of moment you wish you could keep.
Did I Do Enough?
Because underneath my smile, I’m holding so much. A little fear. A little sadness. A quiet voice asking, Have I spent enough time with her? Have I given her enough of myself—my love, my attention, my presence? Have I taught her to be kind and brave? To hold her own boundaries? Does she know she doesn't owe anyone anything?
Have we done enough for her to be the kind of girl who stands up for herself if someone is ever unkind? Who knows how to speak up for others if they need it? Who knows—really knows—that she can always come to us for help, no matter what?
The thing is, she’s always known who she is. From the very beginning, she’s had this fire in her belly and a mind of her own.
A Shift for All of Us
It’s not just Aurora getting ready for this new chapter. Our whole household is shifting. Our weekday adventures—just the three of us—will look different. Margo will miss her big sister. I’ll miss the rhythm of our days, the closeness. We all will.
But more than anything, I just hope we’ve done enough. Not to make her perfect. Just enough for her to walk into that classroom with a strong sense of self, with softness and courage in equal measure.
Seeing her, Seeing the world.
Always moving forward, still my baby.
If I Could Hold Her Once More
The thing is, she’s always known who she is. From the very beginning, she’s had this fire in her belly and a mind of her own. And they say those first four years are the most crucial for laying the foundations of secure attachment—for giving our children the best chance at navigating the world with confidence. I hope we’ve built that.
And I know I’m not the only mum feeling this way right now. Whether your child is starting school for the very first time, beginning primary, or heading off to secondary—it’s all new in it's own way. We’re all adjusting. All feeling the shift.
If you're here too—thinking about lunchboxes and school shoes, holding back tears, wondering if you’ve done enough—just know: you’re not alone. We all are walking this new path together. Holding their hands a little tighter before we let go—just enough—for them to begin.
I’m so excited for her. Of course I am. I adore her current age (in fact, it’s my favourite so far), and I know so much fun is still ahead of us. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish I could hold her just once more as a newborn—knowing what I know now, feeling all that I feel now. To see that first smile again, to relive those early birthdays, to soak it all in one more time.
Because it goes so fast. And somehow, here we are.
But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish I could hold her just once more as a newborn—knowing what I know now, feeling all that I feel now. To see that first smile again, to relive those early birthdays, to soak it all in one more time.
Because it goes so fast. And somehow, here we are.
Because these days? They really do go too fast.
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simona.grintina@outlook.com